Abusive Spouse
November 28th, 2009Today’s society, unlike in the past, is becoming more and more aware of spouse abuse. An abusive spouse can be of either gender, male or female although most often than never it is the men who are the abuser and the women who are the abused. The behavior of an abusive spouse is very different in a relationship and he/she would normally be a very difficult individual to classify, however more commonly they display both emotional and physical abuse. Verbal ridicule, debasing their partner and disregard are types of emotional abuse while physical abuse involves physical violence, threats, slapping, shoving and physical assault.
How does an abusive spouse get carried into such a behavioral pattern some wonder? Well, they are propelled by feelings of insecurity and impotence providing them with a false sense of control which exaggerates their ego. The end result is jealousy or unhealthy possessiveness which can also be seen as a misguided sense of love. There is certainly a difference between ordinary marital disagreements and cruel verbal, emotional and physical abuse that is sometimes seen by the victims as a marital duty. As always there is an amount of verbal conflict that in unavoidable in a marriage relationship but there are certain boundaries that have to be kept in mind during a marital conflict.
As husband and wife, they are expected to care, love and respect each other. Things such as oppression, brutality and acts such as being treated as a slave and running the whole relationship alone by themselves should not be accepted by anyone. Identifying the matter in an abusive spouse is the first step to being aware in the relationship.Disregarding the feeling and intuition of an abusive spouse will only damage yourself.You should determine the reasons why you have allowed yourself to be verbally and emotionally abused by your spouse and you should make that take control of your relationship.Consider the reasoning behind your surrender to such inexcusable treatment.
An abusive spouse can have severe effects on family and children as well.People living with an abusive spouse tend to be secluded from their friends and family and generally keep to themselves because of their controlling spouses.Children who come from a family with an abusive spouse display characteristics such as poor academic performance, depression,fear, guilt, aggression and irritability. Even children who are not abused by the abusive spouse have the tendency to commit violent crimes and delinquent behavior in the future.
Remember that getting out of an abusive relationship is the right thing for the good of your family and your children.
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