Winning Back Your Ex
November 4th, 2009Winning Back Your Ex
When you break up with someone you love, it is often tempting to try to get back together with your ex as soon as possible. The pangs of loneliness can have a tremendous toll on your psyche, prompting you to act impulsively. Some would keep calling their ex, show up everywhere their ex happens to be, keep profusely apologizing and assuring their ex that they have changed, some even shed tears and beg their ex to take them back. If you are tempted to do such things, DON’T.
The appropriate thing to do is to take a break from the relationship. Agree with your ex that not being together may be is the best thing for both of you for the time being. Then take the opportunity to evaluate yourself in order to see how you can improve. The idea is to make yourself the best person you can become. This will put you in good stead in order to win back your ex eventually. So go take a good hard look in the mirror. Be honest. Where you have character flaws (especially when your charater flaws might be partly responsible for you breaking up), then admit it to yourself. Don’t play the blame game (‘…that was her fault, not mine’) or justify yourself (‘…I admit I was wrong, but what about him? He was at fault, too’) or give excuses (‘…I’m only human, can’t she see that?’).
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As you take stock of your own behavior and character, weed out the flaws you have (we all have some, so admit it). Whether it’s your flirtatious nature, short temper, pride, selfishness, controlling attitude, bossiness, dishonesty or anything else, treat it seriously and get rid of it fast. This has already hurt your ex and if you keep on this path, you can be sure you will hurt other people eventually, too.
While you are moving forward on your quest to improving yourself, don’t forget to take the opportunity to see if your ex still retains some if not all of their feelings for you. This would indicate whether it’s going to be worthwhile trying to win your ex back. There are some tell-tale signals that indicate your ex still has the hearts for you.
Firstly, do you think that they are taking actions to try and bring out jealousy within you? A relationship started as a result of a rebound is often an indication that either your ex is feeling very lonely without you or is trying to make you jealous. So if you see him or her starting a relationship on the rebound, don’t panic. It usually won’t last. Also, you retain and incredibel advantage over your ex’s new partner as you know your ex inside out where the new guy or girl has to start learning about them from the begining. And as I said, the rebound relationship might be just a way to make you jealous.
Secondly, does your ex show displeasure when some other person of the opposite sex gets close to you? Your ex more often than not will try and deny being upset, but you know them well enough to know whether that is a lie or not. Being displeased is a sure indication that your ex still has feelings for you.
Thirdly, does your ex contact you for any small reason? I broke up with my ex because she migrated to another country and there was no way for us to carry on our relationship. In the mean time she found another man and when she came back to my country 12 months later, she phoned me and we got together. Everyone could see she still had feelings for me then.
If there are these indications, your chances of winning your ex back are good, if you do your part in improving yourself. But even if these indications are not clearly seen, your self-improvement would go a long way in getting back together with your ex in due course.
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